Silence Is Not Always Golden

Ever hear the saying “Silence is Golden”?  It is an old saying that implies that silence is something to be treasured.  This certainly holds true in some cases.  But unfortunately, when it comes to our teens battling mental health concerns, it should not be the case.  Too often, teens who struggle with mental health concerns stay silent and fail to reach out for help. Teens do not seek help for a variety of reasons, including a fear of judgement or exclusion from peers, cultural or family influences against mental health treatment, lack of trust in professionals, fear of vulnerability, or a lack of safe relationships with family and/or friends to name a few. Another reason for teens not seeking help is a lack of information and awareness.  They may not understand the seriousness of their condition, or they may believe that treatment is unnecessary or not possible.  Some schools or facilities may not be equipped to identify mental health conditions or lack the resources to provide the appropriate support.  This lack of awareness or support can make teens feel hopeless.

How can we encourage teens to seek help?

1. Change the Narrative.  Sometimes we don’t realize that something we have said without even realizing it, may have impacted our teen negatively.  Instead of talking about treatment as a negative consequence of their mental health issues, talk about it positively.  For example, talk about a mental health professional or program the same way you would when speaking of your teen’s sports coach, teacher, or music teacher.  Everyone needs someone to teach them skills that they didn’t have before, so talk about a health professional in the same way – they are simply a teacher helping us learn new life skills.
2. Support Your Teen, Putting Their Needs First. Don’t get discouraged if your teen is reluctant to find help, these feelings are normal and often part of their anxiety or depression.  Continue to show them your support and encourage them to get help.  Try to help the teen realize that they are doing this for themselves, and it will help them accomplish goals or achievements that they may want to do but are limited because of what they are facing right now.
3. Find Treatment that Fits Your Teen. The only way your teen will feel comfortable sharing their concerns will be if the professional or program is the right fit for them.  For example, choose a program that fits into your teen’s schedule and doesn’t make them have to give up a sport or class that they enjoy.  If choosing a therapist, try to find out what qualities your teen would prefer they have.  Interviewing the specialist as a family can also be a good way to determine if it will be a good fit.

Programs such as the Blues Program, an internationally acclaimed wellbeing program for teens can be a helpful tool.  The Blues Program includes six hours of classes teaching emotional resilience, reducing low mood and anxious thoughts.  Regular group work builds rapport and confidence, with home tasks that provide a chance to practice these new skills.  More information may be found at bluesprogram.org.